Honor and
Honorable
The terms "honor" and
"honorable" are such abused terms in the western world. These
are terms that are sloppily associated with glorified acts of revenge, revenge for an
embarrassing situation, bruised ego, a wrongful death, etc. The honor of Bushido, has its
root in the word "honesty" or "integrity". Honor is "truth".
The term:
"To save face . . . "
means to seek and preserve honesty and
integrity, no matter how difficult it is ... no matter how much a compromise of integrity
seduces your senses ... no matter what integrity will do to harm the dishonest ego. This
is the "honor" of the true Bushido. Not everyone is strong enough to wear it.
While we may never be perfect, it is the lifelong struggle towards that perfection that
makes one great. This is the challenge and the object of accomplishment, that is a part of
Budo.
Integrity is important and paramount above all.
Good character is admired, because of the difficulty that it takes to maintain. One's true
strength and discipline can be measured by his/her character.
A friend of mine, referred to a person that we
both know as honorable ... and I disagreed. The reason for my difference, was that this
fellow Aikidoist had visited once and was boastful of himself, berated other Aikidoists in
the dojo (including my friend), and placed himself as better than anyone. He did this
openly in front of the students of the dojo. I did promptly disapprove of this visitor's
behavior and made sure my objections were communicated, when it was a much more polite
time to do so. By then, the visitor left and returned home to Europe. Later that year, I
had gone to Europe and made a visit to this very same man. Sadly, and to my disappointment
... his behavior was much the same. The same bravado and self-indulgence. Much later, when
my friend spoke with the former visitor via long-distance, he mentioned that he felt this
man to be honorable because he was nice and said different things than he had done when he
first visited. However, it is not honorable for someone to initially perform such
behavioral indiscretions and then try to appeal in another false face. This is dishonest
--- this is not honorable.
Honorable means that you must be honest and
truthful with yourself. I mentioned earlier that there is always something to be learned
from the things you are afraid of or want to avoid. To be honorable we need to face the
things we fear and the things we don't want to see. The most fearful things we don't want
to face are those things we hate in ourselves, be it ... lack of honesty, ego indulgence,
brashfulness, etc. Many of us refuse to acknowledge the existence of these traits in
ourselves. These characteristics --- as bad and as undesirable as they are --- are the
human part of our existence and are best dealt with when you can identify them. For
instance, if you know where an infection is on your hand, it is easier to treat. If the
individual chooses to ignore it --- the sore infects and worsens to the point of killing.
It is the act of "saving face ...", is that means to rectify or maintain honesty
within one's self, no matter the pain and price to pay. It is to face that ... which is
not honorable in yourself. (Saving face is another term that is also abused and
misunderstood).
Perhaps if we truthfully deal with those
frightening things, we can better accept those things that truly compliment our character,
without being boastful, self-indulgent or narcissistic. If we are honest with our own
character flaws and make the painstaking effort to make these flaws into good qualities,
we can go towards perfection. We will not need to prove ourselves, force-feed our egos,
and make rank chasing a priority over life long learning.
In facing our dark sides, takes courage and what
results is bravery. I knew of a man and a friend of his, that cheated a few elderly
couples of some money. Finding it difficult to live with his crime, he confessed freely
and turned himself in, along with his partner. He did go to jail for a short time, paid
back his victims willingly, and still accepts the fact that he will have a difficult time
finding good employment for a long time. This man committed a dishonest act and on his own
volition chose to return to being "honorable". He could have easily kept his
silence and no one would have found out his identity, but he was strong enough to
"save face" and face his own bad character. I would believe this man to be the
courageous one. He ended up showing his strength of character through the trial, bad
publicity, and financial ruin. His family was proud of his acts of redemption, as they
should be. His actions of courage were not out of fear of his crime being discovered, but
of a genuine wish to be honorable again. While some acts such as killing the enemy in war
are considered courage and bravery, they are more acts of survival --- that place the
soldier in absolute danger and as a result they perform their extreme best, in the worst
of times. In regards to this man, there was no danger in being discovered. He freely gave
up dishonesty, knew and accepted the penalties, made restitution voluntarily, and fully
understood that life would be difficult for both he and his family. He performed his best
in the worst of times. Some may say this man was a criminal and -- yes, he committed a
crime, but it still required courage to do what he did. He is brave to continue his life
living with this stain. And this stain will fade eventually into nothingness ... with
time.
Courage and bravery is oftentimes, not marked
with fanfare and parades. This is only in the old war films. As they say " ... movies
imitate life, but life surely isn't like the movies ...". While dead soldiers will
not hear parades or champagne glasses chime their praises for courage and bravery, neither
will those that are silently courageous and continue to be brave in their vigilant quest
to be "honorable". Perhaps, you really don't need the fanfare and
acknowledgements for these things. It may be that when you are truly honorable --- is when
you discover that you hold something that is more precious than a medal, another empty Dan
rank, or even money. You cannot barter or purchase honor. It comes with hard work, pain,
and extreme effort, It is not to be compromised. True honor makes the soul feel good. It
is nearly private, because honor is a private and earnest endeavor.
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